LIKE THE BURGER

Steve made his girlfriend a birdhouse (and painted it green and brown) for Christmas and we are at Katie's (Steve's girlfriend) house

Me: Wait. Hold up. Who made that birdhouse? Because I kinda wanna have sex with them.
Steve: Oh. Guilty as charged.
Alex: Shut up. The bird house sucks.
Steve: Do you know how hard and long I worked on that birdhouse?
Me: Yeah, like an hour or two.
Alex: It's painted camo colors. Birds won't even be able to see it!

January 25th

10:49 PM

Notes

# broz4lyfe

"Why won’t anyone let me pick their nose?"

Alex Skalski

January 25th

10:23 PM

1 note

# broz4lyfe

My roommates understand what's important

Alex: What are you drinking?
Katie: Taste it.
Alex: What is it?
Katie: it's not alcohol.
Alex: Well that's no fun.
Katie: I have class and a board meeting later.
Alex: (tastes it) I feel high.

January 25th

2:59 PM

Notes

# broz4lyfe

“Looks like someone is dipped in butter sause tonight.” My roommate convinced me to go out tonight even though I have work at 730 tomorrow morning. And thats what he says to me.

January 20th

10:56 PM

1 note

# pretty boi swag

# broz4lyfe

For Philosophy of Science we have to write online journal entries

Alex: FUCK
Me: What?
Alex: You can read what everyone write on here. So everyone can read what you write.
Me: And?
Alex: Everyone's gunna think I'm an idiot.
Me: Probably.
Alex: You gotta read some of these.
Me: Why?
Alex: "I've quickly taken quite a liking to this book based upon it's initial example of science versus pseudoscience, as explained in terms of Darwinian evolution and creationism."
Me: He's also clearly taken a liking to dick.
Alex: He also uses the word bitchslap...
Me: I'm going to hate the shit out of this class.
Alex: Wait here's a better one: "So I met Popper's thoughts with disagreement."
Me: What are these people smoking? Why can't they just say 'I disagree with Popper'? Why "I met Poppers thoughts with disagreement'?
Alex: I wanna respond and ask if they were nice to her.

January 19th

2:08 PM

Notes

# broz4lyfe

Yup

Alex: What movie is this?
Me: I think it's 30 Days of Night, that vampire movie that came out a few years ago.
Alex: Vampires are strong.

January 18th

2:24 PM

0 notes

# broz4lyfe

"We’re the party brigade we’re here to quietly enjoy ourselves"

January 16th

1:16 AM

Notes

# broz4lyfe

On second though, I think I’m enjoying this feature… A LOT.

January 11th

3:32 PM

1 note

# broz4lyfe

Exhibit A of why the new timeline feature is slightly stupid. LIke what purpose does being able to post back in time serve? I didn’t even have a fucking facebook in 2003. Just… whyyyyyyy

January 11th

3:21 PM

2 notes

# broz4lyfe

I miss my roommates.

I’ve been thinking of putting a tag on my posts of all the stupid shit we do.

December 23rd

1:08 PM

Notes

# broz4lyfe

Roommate of the Year:

“Remember when you used to cry all the time? It’s soooooo funny that you used to cry like every weekend all weekend. It’s hysterical.”

December 22nd

1:03 AM

Notes

# broz4lyfe

Walk of Shame

Alex: Who went to Dunkin Donuts?
Me: I did. When he drove me back here this morning we went through the drive-thru
Steve: Howwww romannnnticcccc
Me: I don't a walk of shame constitutes romantic... or I guess it's technically a ride of shame.
Alex: How was it a walk of shame if he was giving you a ride back? Noone has to see you.
Me: When his roommate walked in on us this morning, having to walk through the living room was awkward. Although after doing this to his roommates three times now I think I'm becoming more apathetic about it.

December 15th

1:14 PM

Notes

# broz4lyfe

I’ve already had Siri txt my roommate for nudes.

I’m 21 motherfucker.

December 14th

12:46 PM

Notes

# broz4lyfe